"Stars" by Evergreen Terrace

Maybe my expectations were too high. Hum’s album “You’d Prefer An Astronaut” was in heavy, heavy rotation throughout my sophomore year, and “Stars” was my favorite song on it. And, it was covered by a band named after The Simpsons? Amazing! What could possibly go wrong?

Enter Evergreen Terrace front man Screamy McYellerson.

Look, Guy…. the very point of a microphone is to take quiet sounds and amplify them, so that you don’t need to scream and metaphorically defecate on an otherwise lush and beautiful soundscape.

Unless you like Scream-o because you were, unfortunately, born without musical taste buds, give this one a minute or so, tops.

Say “Well, that’s something…” and search up Hum’s version to hear the lovely fawn that these guys shot in the face.

"There She Goes" by Sixpence None the Richer

Today's cover is by Alternative Christian Pop Rockers Sixpence None the Richer, with Leigh Nash crooning in her sing-song Texas twang The La's song about the joys of mainlining heroin.

"She" by Imaginary Bill

 

Pop punk in general has always been one of my musical guilty pleasures. Green Day in particular.

I did a double take when I found a cover of my favorite song of theirs performed by Imaginary Bill.

This will sound awful, but Stucco Lobster Breadbox played a show with Imaginary Bill that I don't remember. At all.

Checking out their song titles, it could have been a Funny Songs Festival in Philadelphia or New York. Maybe Pron remembers.

It had to be before 2011, because I had the money to buy their CD, so it was obviously pre-children.

So, here's a cover from a band that I saw, but forgot about, but liked enough to buy their CD, sometime between 2003-2011.

Enjoy!

"Electric Avenue" by Bag of Donuts

 A pretty impressive job on this Eddy Grant song, down to the replicated sound of revving motorcycles.

I would probably dig their live shows. From what I can gather via the interwebs, they have a bassist who dresses like a mime. Because, of course they do. Don't question Bag of Donuts.

They're based out of New Orleans, so a more apropos band name probably would have been "Sack of Beignets." Oh, well. That can be the moniker of their side project that only covers songs by Better Than Ezra.

"Therefore I Am" by Rain Paris

 

Happy Birthday, Veronica!

Vee has been with us since, almost exactly, two weeks before the humble beginnings of a raging worldwide pandemic.

In this case, I'll go out on a limb and say that correlation does not imply causation.

If I find out that she DID have something to do with plaguing our universe, though.... I might have to take away driving privileges for a week. Sometimes, you just have to put your foot down.

She's fit in so seamlessly with us that it's hard to remember what life was like without her here. I'm assuming it was a lot less entertaining.

For her special day, here's a Rain Paris cover of a Billie Eilish song, chosen because there was a period of about 20.3 seconds last year that she was all about Eilish. Maybe before she discovered FM radio, and found that there are myriad musical performers out there, many of whom are simply better than Billie. In most every conceivable way.

Have a great day, LOSER!! We love you.

"All About That Bass" by The Koi Boys

Two minor criticisms of an otherwise entertaining remake.

First, if you're going to switch gender in lyrics, it should be consistent throughout. If the Koi Boys have the boom-boom that all the girls chase, wouldn't it follow that girls, not boys, like a little more booty to hold at night?

Second, what's with the quasi-rap toward the end? It rivals only the crime against humanity that is the monsters eating cars breakdown in Blondie's "Rapture" for pure cringe factor.

All in all, though, I believe this song would get the Meghan Trainor seal of approval, which is almost as coveted as the JD Power Award.

"Steal My Sunshine" by Lenka

 

It's amazing how the lyrics are still almost completely indecipherable to me, even when the song's tempo is cut fully in half. Something about Slurpees and fuzzy stares. Or fuzzy stairs. Not sure without being able to pick up any context clues.

Here's Lenka's lethargic cover of Len.

"Blue Monday" by Orgy

 

It's Monday! And, I suppose it can be considered a blue Monday, courtesy of the NFL's overtime rule.

Last night's Bills/Chiefs game.... wow.

It was depressing. Then jubilant. Then unbelievably jubilant. Then staggering and heartbreaking. Then elating. Then shocking and numbing. Then causing bouts of nervous anticipation.

And then, a coin toss decided a game that had four lead changes within a minute and a half.

A coin toss.

Sad as I am about the fate of Buffalo, I'm hoping that this game serves as the catalyst for changing a rule that can only be described, for lack of better terms, as sweaty booty holes.

Here's Orgy's cover of New Order.

"Take Me to Church" by Nicole Cross

 

I discovered Hozier when he was slated as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Jess and I were both checking our phones while waiting for the Weekend Update segment to come on, and Hozier was belting out this single that was in fairly heavy rotation, I guess, for radio listeners and what have you.

Jess glanced up from her screen.

For the next five minutes, she sounded like she was in a Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup commercial.

"MMMMMMMMmmmm," she said, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmmm..."

The audience burst into applause, the network went to commercial, and Jess turned to me.

"He can take me to church ANYTIME," she declared. "I like the cut of his jib."

Then we resumed waiting for Weekend Update.

I dig Nicole Cross's version.

"Epic" by Shovels & Rope

 

Were you ever driving along when you pass a bank or realtor's office or some building that, though the façade has been done over with stucco or light colored brick, and the roof is now a dark shade of blue, you can kind of tell was once a Pizza Hut?

Such is South Carolina husband and wife team Shovels and Rope's bluesy folky country cover of Faith No More's "Epic." Gone is the rap metal of the original, and though the aesthetic has completely been overhauled, the original is still in there somewhere.

"Weather With You" by Jimmy Buffett

 

"Weather With You" was Crowded House at their best.

Songs are open to interpretation, and where many find hope in the line about singing like a bird released, I've always felt the opposite. That no matter the weather outside, our humble narrator will always sing "Stormy Weather," stuck like a small boat made of china on his mantlepiece, with nothing cooking in his kitchen and minor chords as far as the ear can hear.

So, along comes Jimmy Buffett, who thinks to himself, "Wow. This tune is borderline mournful. You know what it needs? Some freakin' steel drums."

"Wicked Game" by Giant Drag

 

The album art for Los Angeles duo Giant Drag's album popped up on my car's dashboard display when their version of Chris Isaak's hit ballad was playing.

Here's Kaden's take on it:

"Dad, why does she have a knife? Why is she pointing it at her leg? That's not very safe.... (long pause) .... There's something wrong with her."

"Sunny Came Home" by Shael Riley and the Double Ice Backfire

 

"Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin will forever be in my top four songs about premeditated retaliatory arson.

Here's a great cover by Shael Riley and the Double Ice Backfire.

"Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Halocene

 

I think it's the way Halocene's singer pronounces the word "I've" in their Fall Out Boy cover that makes me imagine that she often pops two pieces of green Fruit Stripe gum into her mouth before getting onstage at concerts, then twirls it around her left index finger incessantly throughout the entire performance.

"Santeria" by Metalachi

 

As their name implies, Metalachi blend Metal and Mariachi into a muy bueno hybrid.

Sublime fall somewhere between Hall and Oates and Enya on the metal scale, so.... I guess this can be labeled metalachi?

I suppose the band name "Dudebroskareggaefratguyiachi" was too long.

Whatever. This works! Arriba!

"Where Have All the Cowboys Gone" by Sunday Collective

 

Good Morning, and Happy Sunday!

On this Sunday, here's a cover of Paula Cole by Monaco based band Sunday Collective.

This sounds almost identical to the original, in my opinion, but with the teeniest tiniest hint of a French accent.

I assume their question is rhetorical, but, if not, here is where the Cowboys have gone:

-- University of Wyoming

-- Oklahoma State University

-- North Gem High in Bancroft, Idaho.

Other than those places, I can't really tell you where the Cowboys have gone.

If they were talking about the NFL, I know where they aren't going, though. The divisional championships.

C'mon, '49ers!

"Saturday Night" by Ned's Atomic Dustbin

 

A fitting cover for this S-A-T-U-R, D-A-Y, night.

This S-S-Saturday night.

Mike Myers had a ton of Disco-era covers in his barrage of early '90s movies.

This is one of my favorites... or "favourites."

Embarrassing confession: I had no idea that this was a cover song when it was released. Then again, I was a mere zygote when the Bay City Rollers put forth any music with any relevance whatsoever.

The original is a bop, too. But, the Ned's Atomic Dustbin version just makes you want to keep on dancing to the rock and roll on Saturday night, Saturday night.

"Jump in the Line" by Marsupial Creampie

 

The cover of this Harry Belafonte song is fine and all, but that band name?

I'm in a band called Stucco Lobster Breadbox, and Bay City, Michigan group Marsupial Creampie have, hands down, the worst band name that I've ever heard.

Also, ew. Ewwwwww.... God, ewwww....

"Stuck In The Middle With You" by Susanna Hoffs

 

This is a fairly straightforward cover of the Stealers Wheel classic.

I believe the video for the song features Susanna chopping off the ear of Bananarama's Siobhan Fahey, who is dressed up in a police uniform, before dousing her with gasoline and setting her ablaze.

"Circles" by Of Monsters and Men

 

A cover that I consider far superior to the original.

Of Monsters and Men are one of Iceland's best exports, next to frozen fish fillets and metric tons of volcanic ash.

Their version of Post Malone's "Circles" starts as a quiet piano driven whisper, adding instruments and tempo as they go along, building to a rollicking (you know, as much as Of Monsters and Men can rollick) crescendo.

Sort of like a pot of macaroni that's slowly simmering on the stove, and within minutes boils over onto the range top that's impossible to clean, no matter what combination of slightly abrasive cleaners you toss on there.

"Symphony of Destruction" by Tengger Cavalry

 

Megadeth would sound just like Tengger Cavalry, if they had a morin khuur, and a topshur, and a shanz, and an igil, and Tuvan throat singing, and...

"My Heart Will Go On" by Dragonforce

 

There are two distinct musical genres that Dragonforce's reimagining of Celine Dion captures within its brief time frame.

There's the speed metal, of course. Because ultraquick electric guitar riffs are exactly what you'd expect in a cover of this ballad.

But, it starts out sounding like an 8-Bit video game.

Though I like the speed metal, as I'm sure Ms Dion does as well, I kind of wish that they'd carried the 8-Bit sound all the way through.

Further, Nintendo should have probably made a "Titanic" video game, a left to right scroller where you control Jack, dodging ice chunks to get to a floating door before hypothermia sets in.

"Here's Where the Story Ends" by Ben Hobbs

 

Good Morning, and Happy Sunday!

Because it's Sunday, I picked a Sundays cover.

The Sundays are one of those bands that I sometimes forget existed. But, when I'm trying to come up with my list of ten desert island CDs, "Static and Silence" should be pretty high up in the running of possibilities. Harriet Wheeler could sing a Napalm Death song and make it sound like a lullaby.

Ben Hobbs doesn't have a voice like hers, but, then again, who does?

"Word Up!" by Korn

Much as I love this take on Cameo, because it's Korn performing it, I feel there was a missed opportunity.

At 1:57, the screechy guitar solo comes in.

There's nothing wrong with it, per se.

But, Korn have a bagpipe player.

A. Bagpipe. Player.

Redo this song with the bagpipe, Korn, and you're in the running for best cover song in the universe.

"Kokomo" by Holiday Sidewinder

Thanks to the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, I was unable to procure a factory job in my youth. So, I made money the old fashioned way — waited for birthdays, or occasionally dabbled in the petty larceny syndicate on the mean streets of Marcus Hook, Pennsylvania.

Between the two, 10 year old me was able to scrounge together 7.99, which I used to buy… The "Cocktail” soundtrack on cassette.

It was a purchase I in no way regret. Tons of great songs, plus one from Robbie Nevil.

The album’s cornerstone, though, and what cemented me as a prepubescent yacht rocker, was The Beach Boys ”Kokomo.”

This is a solid cover of it. Not a huge fan of the autotune during the chorus, but, otherwise, great work by Holiday Sidewinder.

Most of the time, YouTube has videos with the song playing over a still shot of the artist’s album cover.

Couldn’t find one, so I apologize for the pretty crappy official video. They’re musicians, not cinematographers. Which is painfully, painfully obvious.

"Baby I'm-A Want You" by Isaac Hayes

Back in the early '70's, in the center of an enormous cloud of marijuana (I assume), David Gates of Bread was talking to his bandmates in the green room after another sold out show.

"We may never become the most popular band in the world," he says before taking a ginormous toke on the tightly rolled joint between his fingers. "But, if we end up getting one of our songs covered by the voice of a cartoon elementary school cafeteria worker, then, by Jove, I believe we've officially made it."

Good news, Dave! (Can I call you Dave? I know it's less formal than you're used to... I'm sorry. David.) Chef rocked this one out a mere two decades after your initial release!

And rock it out, he did. Those horns. Get it, Isaac.

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Hurra Torpedo

 

Jess and I were driving along when this song came on my playlist. She asked me, and I believe this is a direct quote:

"Jeremy, why are you listening to... what the.... why in....just, why?"

Audio alone does this one no justice, so here's the video of Hurra Torpedo's live performance of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

From Norse Zach Galifianakis belting out the tune in his blue track suit, to matching suit guy using heavy appliances as percussion to.... just keep watching. Keeeeeep watching.

On a morning that I'm sure we can use a little levity, Hurra Torpedo provide just that, whether you're laughing with them or at them.

Takk skal du ha (I had to look that up. Unfortunately, my Norwegian is a bit shaky.) for the laughs, Hurra Torpedo! And, if you ever need an opener for a brief North Atlantic tour, I know some guys....

"No Rain" by Drab Majesty

Drab Majesty take Blind Melon's lively, jaunty tune about crippling depression and transform it into a cripplingly depressing tune about crippling depression.

If the video were remade, it would still feature Bee Girl. But, instead of twirling around like a ballerina, she would be seated at a dimly lit kitchen table, sobbing over a plate of unfrosted strawberry Pop Tarts.

"Peace Train" by 10,000 Maniacs

 Look, I love 10,000 Maniacs. They're fantastic.

That said, considering Natalie Merchant's lazy R, this song is a really weird choice.

I'm not a licensed speech therapist, and can't diagnose rhotacism. But, it's hard not to hear "Everyone jump up on the pee stain!" and "Come on the pee stain!" and "THIS IS THE PEE STAIN!"

And, if people wanted to jump up on the pee stain, they'd spend a lot more time at the Red Roof Inn near the airport.

I can imagine Cat Stevens sitting on a yellow and brown plaid couch in his basement, hearing this cover version on MTV. Suddenly, he bolts upright and throws his metal mixing bowl filled with Cheetos at the television screen, causing spiderwebs of broken glass to spread from the corner.

"Peace Train!," he yells, ripping the television from the wall and slamming it on the ground like he's an 80's wrestler delivering a suplex. "Peace TRRRRRAIN!"

And, that just goes against what should be the ultimate chill of this song.

Serenity now, Cat.

"Me and Bobby Mcgee" by Gordon Lightfoot

 I'll get this one out of the way early, as I'm not sure that it qualifies as a cover.

Just like the FDA will pull vats of condensed chicken soup if they find a certain percentage of rat turds by volume, there may be a "CTRSBCACSATPC," or "Can This Really Still Be Considered a Cover Song At This Point Commission," that compares the "cover" with the original.

And, when it comes to this cover, anyhow, Gordon Lightfoot is a total honey badger.

Change the chord progression here and there for no reason? Honey badger.

Mispronounce the most populated town in Monterey County because reasons? Honey badger.

Rewrite whole verses, sometimes into indecipherable word salad? Check.

But, when you sound like Gordon Lightfoot, I guess you get a pass.

He always gets a pass. Which is probably why he's such a honey badger.

"New Year's Day" by Electron Love Theory

 Happy New Year, Everyone!

My track record of fulfilled resolutions hasn’t been the most stellar, but, it’s 2022, so we’ll give it another try.

I’m looking to write again in the upcoming year, even if only for a few minutes everyday.

So, this morning I’ll present to you the first in what I HOPE will be a series of 365 daily posts.

Electron Love Theory's cover of U2 seems like an obvious choice for today. All is quiet…. Except for Rory, who wakes up at some ungodly hour of the morning demanding Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which he’ll eat while watching YouTube videos at eardrum-splitting decibel levels.

I love the hopefulness that Bono and company had during their idealistic years in the early ‘80s. “Say it’s true, it’s true…. and we can break through….Though torn in two….. We can be one….”

Here’s to a year with that solidarity and togetherness.

Totally unrelated, but if you have a favorite cover or twenty that you’d like me to write about, send it my way!